A Small Victory

NOTE: FOR SOME REASON, I CAN'T GET THE PARAGRAPHS SEPARATED RIGHT NOW. FOR NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT------------- I feel good. I was in a bad mood most of the day. I was even before the Indians went belly up. Part of it is something that's been bothering me lately. When it comes to achievements, I've had a lot of small victories, but it's been a long time since I've had any major ones. Now, I'm happy for others when they get there. But hearing about all of their achievements makes me wonder where mine is. I know a lot of that depends on me, but at this stage of my life, there isn't really much to aim for that wouldn't REALLY cause me to restructure things. I guess that means there are more important things to me than these major milestones, but it still bothers me. But I do have some things I would like to accomplish. I don't consider it to be a bucket list, but rather a F--- it list. (The meaning will become clear in a moment.) One of the things on the list is that I want to run a 5k. (Bless you people who run marathons, but my attention span is about two seconds, so that isn't a realistic goal for me. As for being an Ironman, that's all very gtood, but I don't need to be an Ironman. I'm *Gold*man. Hehe.) So, after putting it off time and time again, I decided it was time to return to the fitness center and start back up on the treadmill. Originally, I had stopped because of my arm, but I kept the membership, knowing I would return. My delay has resulted in my wasting some money, but I didn't want to cancel it. Finally, I decided tonight was the night. F--- it. I'm going. When I was going on the treadmill over a year ago, I had this routine where I would run up to 3 miles, varying my speed in accordance with my heart rate. But tonight I didn't know what I was going to do. All I knew was that I was going to go as far as I could up to 3 miles. When I got there, though, I decided to screw the heart rate. I just set it at 4 mph (labeled as jogging speed, but to me it seems like a fast walk) and go as long as I could, hoping I could go at least a mile. But a funny thing happened. After a mile, I wasn't winded. I kept going. Sweat poured out. My back hurt a bit, and my legs started to hurt eventually. But I never really became winded. I went the whole 3 miles at the same pace. I think it was actually a bit faster than anything I had done while varying my heart rate! Then I cooled down for 5 minutes. 3.2 miles--- a bit longer than 5K. Jeez, only seven more of those, and I'll be less than one mile short of a marathon. :) I'm not done, of course. I need to work on it. I want to get to more of a running pace. Get used to it so my back and legs don't hurt. But one thing at a time. It isn't a marathon. Heck, it isn't even a 5K. But it's an accomplishment. It's something. And on this June night, I feel good about it.