I'm sorry I haven't been very active here lately.
I got out of the habit when I hurt my arm, and haven't yet gotten back into it.
In case you're wondering, the arm is better than it was at the beginning, but I would say it's at about 80% and has leveled off. I'm going back to the doctor next Wed. to see what he recommends.
Anyway, back to life here at the Ponderosa.
I've been thinking a lot lately, but I guess for me, that's about par for the course.
As I alluded to in my introduction, I'm 53 now, and I have no family of my own. (I mean, I have two sisters, two brothers-in-law, 3 nieces, and a whole slew of cousins, etc. But I am referring to a spouse and/or children.) Boo hoo. Who said that? It wasn't me, because I don't feel like I'm missing anything.
Well, I should qualify that. Although I love kids, I wouldn't do well as a parent. I couldn't do that job, and I've never wanted it, or I should say I haven't wanted it for a very long time.
I still leave the door open as far as a wife is concerned, although I don't think that's what I want. Haven't been anywhere close to that, so it's hard to say that from first-hand knowledge. I could go into it further here, but I won't, at least not right now.
As for having one's own family, I don't begrudge that to other people. Not if that's what they want. But I could really do without the remarks of pity, or of feeling sorry for me. There is no need for that. I know a lot of people can't understand how anyone could feel differently than they do, but it happens all the time. It's what makes the world go round, in fact.
Moreover, right now I seem to be oversensitive to people who seem to think that having a family automatically makes one more important than others. I am not saying it shouldn't be considered important, but we all have things that are important to us. To try to compare them, I feel, is a fruitless measure, in most cases.
Oh well. Maybe the cold weather is getting me down. Mom used to get depressed at some point during the winter. I can understand that. But I guess I have gone into all that before...
